Deviled Chickpea Bites

This recipe is from Thug Kitchen 2: Party Grub, page 64.

You’re not still fucking around with deviled eggs, are you? That app is more antiquated than your grandmother’s sweaty Jell-O salad and tastes just as boring. Try these delicious deviled motherfuckers and bring your buffet table into the 21st century.

Makes about 18 bites; enough for 4 to 6 people.

Ingredients

• 1-1/2 cups cooked chickpeas¹
• 4 teaspoons white wine vinegar
• 2 tablespoons minced shallot or yellow onion
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 tablespoon water
• 1 tablespoon nutritional yeast (“nooch”)
• 1-1/4 teaspoons Dijon mustard
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 baguette, cut into slices no thicker than 1/2 inch
• 1 large cucumber, thinly sliced²
• 1 bunch of chives, minces
• Paprika

Directions

1. To make the filling, throw the chickpeas, vinegar, shallot, oil, water, nooch, mustard, and salt into a blender or food processor and let that shit run until it looks all creamy. If your machine sucks, add another tablespoon of water to get it going.

2. To assemble the bites, smear a little of the chickpea mix on the bread slices so that the cucumbers stick, then place 2 slices of cucumbers on the bread so that the surface is mostly covered. Now you can just spoon 1-1/2 tablespoons worth of the chickpea mix on the cucumber slices or you can use the lazy pastry bag method and pile that shit on like you’re out to impress some motherfuckers.

3. Sprinkle the chives over the top and shake on some paprika for looks. Serve within a couple hours of making so the bread and cucumbers don’t get soggy.